Photo by Fernando Jorge
No matter what you say you want—more time, better health, stronger relationships, a thriving business—there is a good chance that the biggest obstacle in the way is you.
That might sting a little. But if you can take it in without defensiveness, it is also the most liberating thing you could realize. Because if you are the one in the way, you are also the one who can move.
The Myth of “I Should Be Able to Do This Myself”
Many of us carry an invisible rule: I should be able to figure this out on my own.
Where did you learn that? Why do you believe it?
And is it actually serving you?
This thinking traps us in endless loops of over-analysis, perfectionism, or avoidance. We tell ourselves we are “being resourceful,” when in reality we are stalling.
Support is not weakness. It is not laziness. It is not a failure of intelligence.
Support is a strategy—and the people who get what they want fastest are the ones who understand this.
Seven Years, One Radiator, and the Cost of Stuckness
For nearly two decades, I lived in a 120-year-old house I adored—full of charm, history, and warmth. Except for one radiator.
It sat in the living room, cold and inert. Every day, I would glance at it and think about it. I could not “figure out” how to fix it. I assumed it was complicated, expensive, and that I did not have the right person to call.
For seven years I carried that story around in my head. One day I finally got fed up. I called a plumber. The next day, for $800, the radiator was working again.
Seven years of mental load gone in 24 hours.
It was not a knowledge problem. It was not a skill problem. It was a willingness-to-act problem. I needed to get out of my head and into relationship with someone who knew what to do.
The Price of Going It Alone
This happened again recently. I wanted the new mural in our garden and gathering space at Nuluum to be beautifully lit for evening events. My husband, a skilled landscape designer, knows garden lighting. I am determined to get whatever is on my plate done.
So we tried. Slowly. Badly. We hired someone who could handle electrical work but had no idea how to light a three-story mural. Weeks passed. Energy bled. Momentum stalled.
Finally, I called a landscape lighting designer. Between 7 am and 10 pm that same day, the entire project was planned, designed, and scheduled for installation.
When you bring in the right person with the right expertise, the roadblocks vanish—and things happen fast.
It reminded me of the radiator in our old house—seven years of overthinking, solved in a single day once I finally called the right person. Different project, same lesson: the problem was never the thing itself. The problem was waiting to get the right support.
Support is Not a Luxury—It’s How You Move Faster
We live in a world where you can hire someone to assemble your furniture, organize your kitchen, design your website, or run your quarterly strategy session. Platforms like TaskRabbit, Fiverr, and Upwork exist because we are not meant to do everything alone.
And support does not have to be expensive. You can hire a novice for $20/hour or a top-tier expert for $80/hour. You can trade skills. You can barter. The point is: you stop wasting time trying to become an expert in something you do not need to master.
Why You Hire for Some Things but Not Others
It is funny—we all have our blind spots. You might have no problem hiring a cleaner, but resist hiring a bookkeeper. Or you will pay for a coach but refuse to get childcare so you can focus. These “I should be able to…” zones are often the exact areas slowing you down the most.
The question is not “Can I do this?”
The question is “Should I be doing this?”
The S → S → S Framework: Steps, Structure, Support
When you want something—anything—start here:
- Steps – Start with the end in mind, and work backwards to define exactly what needs to happen to reach the outcome you desire.
- Structure – Put the systems in place to make those steps inevitable.
- Support – Identify the right people and resources to execute.
If my endgame is to have a party-ready property, I do not just hope it magically comes together. I map the steps, create the structure, and bring in the support—whether that is audio installation, deep cleaning, or lighting design.
Stop Being Your Own Roadblock
If you are not getting what you want, it is worth asking: What is the cost—in time, energy, and mental space—of not getting the right support?
The only thing standing between you and the result you say you want may be your own unwillingness to ask for, pay for, or accept help.
So, name what you want.
Decide the structure that will get you there.
Bring in the right support to make it happen.
And then, get out of your own way.
If You Want to Move Faster, Go Deeper
Sometimes the support you need is not someone to fix a radiator or light a mural. Sometimes it is someone to help you see the deeper patterns that keep you circling the same frustrations—in your work, your relationships, your health, your own mind.
That is the work I do in 1:1 Truth Work sessions.
This is not about quick tips or surface-level strategy. It is about uncovering what is really running the show in your life—the beliefs, fears, and habits you cannot see on your own—and creating space for something truer, freer, and more powerful to emerge.
If you are ready to stop being the biggest obstacle between you and what you want — and you want a guide who will hold you with compassion while telling you the truth—this work will change you.
Schedule a conversation with me about stepping into what is truly possible.
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