My work is not for the wounded.

At the beginning of 2020, my two adult children were sharing an apartment in Brooklyn, New York. My daughter was preparing to graduate from NYU, my son poised to launch his music career. 

In March, everything shut down. I flew them both home to Chicago, where they have been quarantining with my husband, our two younger children, and me for the past seven months. 

I gave my son and daughter one simple guideline when they arrived. I said, “You will have an opportunity to choose, day after day after day, who you are going to be.” 

They could choose to be fierce and loving, proud and passionate, to claim the big idea of who they are here to be. Or they could choose to be angry and resentful, hosting a round-the-clock pity party, addicted to their own struggle.   

“Wow,” you may be thinking. “Pretty harsh, Lola! Where’s the tenderness?” 

There is a place and a space for tenderness. But when I talk about fierce love, this is the kind I mean. Finding your fierce and loving means radically disrupting your smallness, because when you get addicted to your small and suffering self, you do not have aliveness and creativity and imagination to dream of something bigger.

My work is not for the wounded. If you are committed to staying stuck, going round and round as you circle the drain of your suffering, I am not the one.

2020 has upended most of our lives in one way or another—and that does not make us special. Everybody has challenges, breakdowns, heartbreak, drama, and family dysfunction. Of the almost 8 billion people on the planet, every single one has a sob story. You are not special. And I say that while also extending compassion and grace for you when you are in the thick of it. But if I collude with you in your drama, I am actually contributing to your stuckness.

If you want to stay in your broken-down, sad-ass story of what is not possible for you and your life, there are gobs of therapists, guides, and teachers who will stay in that place with you. If you do not want to talk about the greatness that is you, the fire that is you, the love that is you, then please find another communal conversation in which to dance.

My work is for people who want to recalibrate, reconnect, and realize the truth of who they are. My work is not for the wounded. Because the wounded is not real.

Your woundedness only exists to the extent that you invest and believe in it as real. It is not the truth of who you are. 

Who you are is the presence of love made manifest. Who you are is a portal of this vast and holy universe. Who you are is whole and holy, perfect and complete. 

If you want a big life that is filled with freedom and joy and peace and abundance, I would love for you to consider joining Our Circle. This is a place and space where you will be set on fire with your desire.

My work is not for the wounded. My work is for those who want to be alive.