“Slay the stories that no longer serve your highest and holiest expression. Connect with the radical truth of who and what you are.” – Lola Wright
The things we grappled with in 2020 have not disappeared. Reject the temptation to simply react as an adrenalized tool of exhaustion! On this episode of Find Your Fierce & Loving, I invite you to think about how you can organize yourself – intentionally and from a place of power – so you may bring yourself into greater alignment with the flow of life.
Show Notes
I have spent a lifetime seeking affirmation from other people, places, and things. And as I have untangled that pattern, I have learned how to source the truth. When you and I develop the capacity to source our own sense of truth, we become immovable in the best ways.
The invitation this week on Find Your Fierce & Loving is to uncover the radical truth about yourself. The more comfortable and competent you are in speaking truth about yourself to yourself, the more possible the reality you desire will come forward.
You are here to live a rich life. You are here to experience wild degrees of love. This is the moment. Join me.
- (00:40) – Text ‘Radical Reminders’ to 773-923-0358 (update: this number is no longer in service) to receive weekly nudges from Lola so that you experience more of your fierce and loving life
- (04:39) – The law of attraction
- (06:30) – Audit of mouth and mind
- (12:25) – Living in the overflow
- (17:26) – Looping in the material realm
- (21:44) – Jesus and the Disinherited
- (24:39) – Journal daily
Do you want to unleash your inherent love and goodness, liberate yourself, and free humanity from the oppressive systems and structures we have created? We are here to support you in finding your fierce and loving life. Join us in Our Circle, a vibrant membership community rich in opportunities for engagement and transformation. Find out more at lolawright.com/our-circle.
You can follow Lola Wright, on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter and learn more about my work at lolawright.com.
Chicago born and built, Lola grew up in wealth and privilege, yet always sensed something was missing. She sought out aliveness and freedom in music, immersing herself in the hip hop and house music scenes of 90s Chicago. After finding herself on her own at 23, as the mother of two young children, she became determined to create a new experience.
Lola is an ordained minister with a gift for weaving together the mystical and material, she served for many years as the CEO of Bodhi Center, an organization committed to personal transformation, collective awakening, conscious activism, and community-building.
Theme music by independent producer Trey Royal.
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Transcript
[00:00:01] Personal transformation and collective awakening involve being the most alive, brilliant, inspired, creative on fire version of yourself, a version that is not consistent with the status quo. My name is Lola Wright and this is Find Your Fierce & Loving. This podcast is a wake up call, a roadmap back to your holy purpose. An invitation to set fire to the box you’ve been living in, and watch it burn.
[00:00:41] This podcast has been organized, designed, intended to support you in coming fully alive, and I fundamentally believe that the thing that you and I, that humanity needs in 2021, now more than ever is a recalibration with the truth. We have gotten so caught up in the facts of our lives, the facts of the world, and then all of the story making that we do about that. And the question is, are those stories serving and supporting you? So you have this incredible capacity, this agency, to write your own narratives, to slay the stories that do not serve you. And so for the month of January, as we enter into this new 2021 calendar year, we are talking about speaking radical truths about yourself to your self.
[00:01:46] I have spent a lifetime seeking affirmation from other people, places and things. And as I have untangled that pattern, that addiction, I have had to source the truth. I’ve had to source my sense of affirmation within myself. When you and I develop the capacity to source our own sense of truth, we become immovable in the best of ways. So when I say the truth, I’m talking about something very distinct. Oftentimes we will hear people say, speak your truth. And really what that means is get connected to what’s authentically true for you as it relates to the material realm. It’s usually circumstantial and conditionally based. When I invite you to speak your truth, I’m asking you to connect to the unseen realm, to your spiritual name and nature, to the aspect of you that is not defined by conditions and circumstances.
[00:03:04] You know, most of us became familiar with affirmations originally, perhaps through Saturday Night Live. If you’re old enough to remember Stuart Smalley, you may remember his practice of “I’m smart enough, I’m kind enough. And doggone it, people like me.” And if you remember now, look, if you don’t remember Stuart Smalley, go to YouTube, find him and give yourself the gift of understanding sort of the spin of humor on the world of affirmations. I like to call them radical reminders. I want to invite you into a devotional practice of speaking radical truth about yourself to yourself so that you are not dependent on the opinions and projections of the external world.
[00:04:04] When we can find a sense of deep peace within ourselves, we become incredibly potent and an invitation for others that we meet. See I think that we’ve largely forgotten our true nature. We’re sort of operating inside of this system that is based on the supposition that something’s inherently wrong with you. And I’m going to ask you to totally blow that up in 2021.
[00:04:39] You know, many of us are familiar with the law of attraction. In my assessment, if you will, most law of attraction work is really pretty shallow. Much of it is really oriented around the realm of acquisition and acquisition of material goods. And as I’ve said many times before, I want you to live your best life and I would love for that to include all the goodies that you desire. I certainly want that for myself. But I think you know that when our good is largely located in stuff, it’s pretty vacant. So that for me is really the opportunity that humanity has right now. You know, the paradox is that as you accept yourself exactly as you are, something more becomes possible as you. If I can accept the aspects of self that I judge, and rather than seeing my deficiencies, see my wholeness, my holiness, then more of that becomes known. I think that the law of attraction is largely oversimplified and then people wonder why they’re not experiencing what it is they desire.
[00:06:05] One of the things that I offer that just a little plug I would encourage you to take advantage of is I send out weekly text messages called Radical Reminders, and they’re literally just truth statements to recalibrate you out of circumstances and conditions into the high idea of who you are here to be.
[00:06:28] So take a deep breath. We are moving into 2021 with a deep, deep sense of your truth. I want you to do an audit of your mind and your mouth this month. I want you to notice what thoughts or words do you hear on repeat when you feel discouraged. I’d love for you to perhaps pick three words or predominant thoughts that you tend to recycle or feel addicted to that tend to keep you stuck or hold you down. If you were to pull out your journal and write some radical truth about yourself in those areas. I would encourage you to write radical truth statements that include the following. High and holy words that are oriented around the sentence stem – ‘I am’. Now, you might hear that and say, oh, my gosh, Lola, I’ve been doing affirmations for decades and I would say great, me too and they’re potent when you get it in right alignment.
[00:07:47] Many of you know that when I met my husband in 2007, right before he and I met, I had finally cultivated a sense of deep peace with the prospect of being alone. I so avoided loneliness forever. I was constantly seeking out peace in people, places, and things, and guess what? I never found it. So I began a radical and ongoing and relentless dialog with myself about the truth of myself. Something shifted in my body and my being, and I became available to the partnership I long desired. When I fell madly in love with myself first, realizing I actually could do this thing without a partner and I’d be OK I had found a kind of restoration of my wholeness. I had finally dislodged enough of the stories that were holding me in a pattern of neediness.
[00:09:07] When I got to a sense of a restored self,. when I fell madly in love with who I was as I was, I knew then I could call forward a partner from a place of wholeness. And I started working with this affirmation, this radical reminder. See that which we are experiencing in this time and space is always the out picturing of a previous state of consciousness. So the work that you and I are doing right now in consciousness, is going to produce a particular future. So if the storylines that you’re running, if the words and predominant thoughts that you’re recycling and have some level of addiction to are not in alignment with the future that you desire, then you have to disrupt that. You have to interrupt that. You have to slay all that storytelling nonsense and recalibrate with the truth of who you are.
[00:10:18] When I was able to sit in the stillness of me, in the peace of me, I was then able to create a future that I desired. Aand it went like this: I am in loving and intimate partnership with my best friend and husband, and it had a potency to it and I kept working with it. It wasn’t quite right, but it was getting there. And then in about December of 2006, there was like a ca-chunk in that radical reminder, in that truth statement, in that affirmation. Again, I was speaking in the present tense of something I was not experiencing in my reality, but because consciousness is not bound by time and space and the magnetic capacity of the universe is not restricted by a clock as you speak your life, your desires, your intentions into existence as if they are occurring right now, your reality begins to shift. And so I kept working with that radical reminder, with that affirmation, and it morphed into a tinie adaptation. And the moment I got it, I felt it in my body. Everything shifted.
[00:11:45] I am in loving an intimate spiritual partnership with my best friend and husband. I knew I wanted someone that could go into the deep with me. I knew I wanted someone who would do the work of personal transformation. I knew I wanted someone that was willing to explore reality from a multi-dimensional perspective that wasn’t trapped in the literal. And that word spiritual that went before partnership altered the entire game.
[00:12:16] You could apply this to your business, you could apply this to your finances, you could apply this to your family relationships. You could apply this to your physical health. I like to play in five domains. I think our lives are largely found in these five domains: relationships, health, finances, vocation and spirituality. I call it vocation versus career, because your career may or may not be your purpose, your dharma, the thing that brings you alive. I certainly think that the more of us that have careers, that are vocations, that are our purpose as a protest, as a disruption to our status quo consciousness, our small sense of self, our survival, the more of us that have a vocation versus a career, the more freedom, peace, love, joy, harmony, and abundance we will experience on the planet.
[00:13:21] So the invitation here is to write some radical truth about yourself, the more comfortable and competent you are in speaking high about you, the more possible the reality that you desire to come forward will be. So get the past and future tenses out of these radical truth statements about yourself, the idea when you are speaking affirmatively, radically in truth about yourself, your energy should begin to rise. You should feel a swell of creativity in your body. It may even scare you a bit, but more than that, it ignites something new in you.
[00:14:09] See, I’ve said this already this year, 2021 is likely going to deliver much of the same collective results that we’re already seeing. There’s still going to be a global pandemic at play, racial injustice is alive and well, economic inequity is prevalent. The things that we grappled with in 2020 have not disappeared. So who and how will you organize yourself such that you may be sober, intentional, potent, powerful, not as an adrenalized tool of exhaustion, but such that you may bring yourself in greater alignment with the flow of life?
[00:15:01] So one of my most potent affirmations, radical reminders that I started playing with in 2006 was I am in loving an intimate spiritual partnership with my best friend and partner. That remains true today. Another one I played with for many years. I am an infinite container for the good of the universe. And if you had looked at the circumstances and conditions of my life at that time, you would have argued that. You would have said,”Lola Wright, it does not appear that you are an infinite container for the good of the universe. Your life does not seem to demonstrate those results”.
[00:15:41] I don’t care that which is occurring in the material realm is not the all of my existence, nor is it the all of your existence that which you are experiencing in the material realm is a previous state of consciousness. So all that we are experiencing in the collective consciousness is the out-picturing of old agreements, tired stories, that is true at the level of the personal and the level of the collective. I like to say to myself, I am abundance. I move in total harmony with the universe. I have all of my needs met in every moment. I am living in the overflow. Remember, you’re disrupting that wounded and broken paradigm that says something must be wrong with you.
Our Circle [00:16:41] You want to be more alive, you want to unleash your inherent love and goodness, liberate yourself, and free humanity from the oppressive systems and structures we have created. We are here to support you in finding your fierce and loving life. Join us in Our Circle. This is an affirming and radical space that will gather weekly on demand or live, whatever works best for your life. For more information on how you can engage in Our Circle, visit lolawright.com/our-circle. I’d love to have you with us.
[00:17:26] I’m going to be completely honest, this remains my practice. I wish I could give you something sexier every time we gathered, but quite frankly, all we’re really ever doing here is untangling from our unconscious sense of self. From our limited reality. So this month, as you say yes to your fierce and loving life in 2021, you have to develop an intimate relationship with your struggle. Look, the way this goes for me, as I just tell on myself., I have like five core people that may get a text from me and it’s usually something like “I’m going down.” And it’s like I just tell them, here’s all the crap that’s going through my mind right now. Here are the fears. Here are the irrational thought patterns. Here are the absurd ideas. I mean, I had a night over the holidays where I had seven holiday cookies. Like, that’s just what happened. And you might be like, yeah, OK, what’s the big deal? I don’t really eat like that. I don’t consume sugar like that. I had seven holiday cookies and two glasses of red wine. And the text message was something like, I am in a sugar shame cycle. I am finding loads of evidence to determine that my future is in great jeopardy based on my current sugar consumption. It is clear I am a negligent human being. I could just see all of the ways that my mind was like, holy shit Lola.
[00:19:16] See, we could look at the big things in our lives, right? But how about the little things, the teeny little micro thoughts that are occupying your energetic body, taking you out? The circumstances and conditions of the world may never live up to the desires of your heart if you and I are dependent on external circumstances and conditions to lead the way for growth and change. We will be eternally disappointed. The president of the United States is not the source of your peace. This economy is not the source of your abundance, your family system is not the source of your love.
[00:20:14] Now, do we want those things to shift and grow and transform and expand? Absolutely. But where you have the greatest degree of influence is within your own body and being. So we are always working at the level of the material realm and bringing it inward Most of us are looping in the material realm, in the world of form, in these sort of earthly conditions. The most potent leaders, influencers, creators, activators, lovers are those that can get in back of the thing itself. Slay the stories that are no longer serving your highest and holiest expression and connect with the radical truth of who and what you are. That’s the practice this month.
[00:21:19] Begin to become skillful in speaking affirmatively about yourself to yourself. Catch yourself when you notice that you’re taking yourself out. No, we’re not doing that. We are holding a high vibration of who you are.
[00:21:45] You know, I love the book Jesus and the Disinherited by Howard Thurman, a great Christian mystic. In an upcoming episode, you’re going to hear a conversation I have with the brilliant, brilliant consultant and community organizer and activist Xavier Ramey, and I make reference to this book in our conversation. And Howard Thurman describes the experience that Rabbi Jesus of Nazareth, this mystic that walked the Earth and and what he describes is his capacity to stand before someone who was looping in their survival, in their shame, in their wounded-ness, and he would metaphorically hold a crown of possibility above their head and say, “rise up. I see you as the brilliant, holy, tremendous, extraordinary, exquisite being that you are. And if you cannot see it for yourself, believe in my belief until you can hold it for yourself.” So that’s what I’m here to be for you to the extent that it is of service to you, because I have people who do this for me in my life. I hold the crown of possibility above your head and I say rise into the high idea of who you are here to be.
[00:23:10] There are plenty of places, spaces and people that will collude, coordinate and create with you around your small sense of self. Sometimes we just have to say, stop it, that’s enough. I am not colluding with that small sense of self any more. Because if you don’t disrupt that pattern, it will run you for the rest of your life. You are here as a holy demonstration of possibility, as a provocation to humanity. Your purpose is to come alive. Your purpose is not a job title. Your purpose is not a bank account or a net worth statement. Your purpose is the aliveness that you feel in your body, the integration you may experience between your body, your mind, and your soul, your capacity, your creative agency to write stories about yourself for yourself that call you forward.
[00:24:39] A great practice to leave you with for the month of January and quite frankly, for the rest of your life, would be to journal daily about the truth of who you are, become incredibly skilled at saying what’s true, not what’s circumstantial, not what’s conditional. You are more than this meatsuit, you are an individualized manifestation of this vast universe, speak on that, write on that, create from that. And all things become possible.
[00:25:26] You are here to live a rich life, you are here to experience wild degrees of love. This is the moment. The world could not be more absurd in some ways, there’s so much racket, so much noise. And it’s an opportunity to slow down, to sit still, to turn within, to reconnect with the truth of who you are, to recalibrate your sense of self and to move into 2021 grounded, peaceful, purposeful, centered. And if you cannot do it on your own, then surround yourself with people who can, because very often it is easier for others to see and hold the truth for us when we forget. You’re here to live a great life, you’re here to thrive. 2021 is your year. Because as I said on last week’s episode, you say so. You are the creator of your reality, the world will always produce suffering. Now, what? Who will you be with it?
[00:27:00] If you enjoyed this show and would like to receive new episodes as they’re published, subscribe wherever you get your podcasts and consider leaving a review in Apple podcasts. Your reviews help others find this show. You can follow me @lolapwright on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter and learn more about my work at lolawright.com. This episode was produced by Dante32 with theme music from independent music producer Trey Royal.
[00:27:44] High and holy words that are oriented around the sentence stem, I am.
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