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Witnessing someone tell their truth is electrifying. Oftentimes it feels like an invigorating jolt to the system when someone is comfortable expressing their truth and doing so in a way that is not righteous, penalizing, or oppressive.
I want you to have that capacity. I want you to tell your truth regularly and confidently. The ability to tell your truth effectively is one of the most transformational experiences you can give yourself and the planet.
People who have an ability to access their truth and share it with others experience less drama, less suffering, and more freedom in relationships that matter to them.
People who tell their truth create more of what they want and experience less of what they don’t want.
The expression “your word is your wand” doesn’t come from nowhere. You are creating your reality through your word choice all of the time. Use it wisely.
There are three essential steps you must take to tell your truth effectively:
- Know yourself
- Hold your point of view lightly
- Get out on the skinny branches
Know Yourself
We’ve lost ourselves. We place an incredible volume of cultural currency on “likes” and “shares.” Outsourcing our approval, security, and safety to the world around us now seems normal. It also contributes to so much editing and manipulating that we become disconnected from ourselves.
When we disconnect from ourselves and get hooked on external validation we diminish our potency. We are social creatures. The desire to feel safety and security among “the group” is understandable. But when all is said and done only you can know you best.
You may be disconnected from what really matters to you, what you want most, and what brings you alive. When you’re perpetually motivated by external stimuli it is hard to hear yourself let alone know yourself.
A great way to know yourself is to slow down. That may feel uncomfortable and really risky in a world that values speed and productivity. But give yourself time and space each day to get quiet, you may choose to write or journal from your stream of consciousness—you’ll be surprised by what you encounter. Put on some soothing music without lyrics and breathe for five minutes with yourself. At first it may feel awkward or useless. You may notice how busy your thinking mind is, that’s ok.
The greatest way to know yourself is to be with yourself.
Hold Your Point of View Lightly
Oftentimes when people are expressing themselves they’re trying to convince the listener that they’re right. Getting positional and attached to your point of view is not telling your truth.
The more comfortable you are with yourself, the more you know yourself, the less attached you become to convincing others of your point of view.
Your truth is just that, it’s yours. Hold it lightly—there’s nothing to defend.
Pay attention to the cues and clues of your body when you’re telling your truth. If you notice feeling agitated or defensive, you may be in your own survival pattern which usually boils down to being right and protecting your ego.
A great way to test how attached you are to your point of view is by asking yourself “Am I willing to consider that the opposite of my point of view could be as true or truer than what I am asserting.” That simple question comes from The Work by Byron Katie and is a great exercise to remain open and curious.
When I am most deeply connected to my truth it feels light and buoyant in my body. I can relax free of the need to defend or argue.
Get Out On The Skinny Branches
Telling your truth is risky. People may not agree or appreciate you expressing yourself. That must be ok with you. Telling your truth can’t be driven by your need for approval.
Staying safe and playing small, remaining palatable and socially acceptable will keep you trapped. If prioritizing the safety of your ego and your image is the leading priority for you then risk is not involved.
Remember, telling your truth is risky.
You must have something at stake. Find the edge of your comfort and get out there. It’s up to you to determine your edge. If you go too far you’ll create a paralyzing level of discomfort and never want to tell your truth again, don’t do that to yourself.
Bonus Reminder
Surrounding yourself with a small network of supportive team members, colleagues, mentors, and friends who are committed to your evolution and growth is invaluable. We’re not meant to do life alone.
When you take on new practices, be mindful of the company you keep. It’s vulnerable to do things differently or newly. Keeping an old crowd of naysayers and cynics around won’t support you in becoming the transformational leader you are here to be.
Consider bringing Lola Wright Enterprises into your organization or team to develop the transformational tool of truth-telling—it’s time to create a new way of leading.
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