Feedback gone wrong creates a whole lot of mess.
The cost of not creating a work environment or a team that knows how to effectively provide feedback to one another is higher than you can imagine.
When I first start to work with leaders, there’s often concern around how to do feedback in a way that doesn’t just create a barrage of feedback. Not because the leaders that I work with aren’t open and available, but because not all feedback is created equally. Very often people think that they are giving feedback when really what they’re doing is lobbying opinions.
There is a skill, an art and a science, to giving and receiving feedback in a way that really matters.
The power of whole body awareness fundamentally alters teams and provides a way for teams to do feedback well in the workplace.
When you are attuned to whole body awareness, feedback looks, feels, and sounds like checking in on body sensations, feeling states, and thoughts.
It isn’t personal. It isn’t ‘at’ another human being. In fact, it’s not even debatable. Feedback is just what’s happening for you. It’s a kind of reporting, or checking, in.
For example, reporting on my body sensations might sound like:
“If you were to know me, what you would know is: Tightening in my shoulders, clenching in my jaw, pulling in my forehead.”
These are not debatable. They are that which is happening over here, where I am.
Reporting my feeling states might sound like:
“What I’m noticing is fear and joy.”
Again, not debatable, not personal, not a matter of opinion; it’s actually what’s occurring for me.
Then, thoughts:
“I wish we had had a conversation before that email went out to the client.”
Instead of, “What the heck were you thinking?”. It’s not an accusation or an opinion, simply a reporting on “what is going on for you”.
Leaders and teams that don’t know how to do feedback well ultimately suffer.
When teams don’t know how to have clear, direct and honest conversation, it creates an environment that feels fatigued. It’s like moving through quicksand. Everything feels harder.
Clients often share experiences that occurred months or even years ago that have left them feeling conflicted or irritated. This is what happens when we don’t give feedback in the moment. And when we don’t have the tools to diffuse our reactivity, our feedback can easily become accusations or opinions.
When you neutralize feedback, when feedback becomes part of your everyday norm and you get used to giving it in the moment, it is not such a big deal.
What Happens When Teams Get Comfortable With Feedback:
– Produce results
– Find solutions
– Make an impact
For teams, a feedback friendly environment—one that’s not tit for tat—is a multiplier of what you can produce. This creates an entirely different culture that’s compelling, energizing, and exciting for the human beings who work with you.
If you don’t already have a feedback friendly environment, start learning how to do feedback well. Try giving feedback to your significant other, your child, a friend, a community member, a business partner, or colleague using the practice of whole body awareness to neutralize and diffuse what may be going on between you and another human being.
Learn more about whole body awareness in this free workshop.
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